Baby Reindeer

On a TV show and trigger warnings. Mary Oliver. More quotes on Humility.

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More Italics! I rarely run what is commonly referred to as trigger warnings on The Small Bow because I assume that if people are here, they understand that what I write about can sometimes veer into some dark and uncomfortable territories. But today’s actually a double-whammy: a warning because I will attempt to have more discussions about sexual abuse and and another warning because by having those discussions there will be spoilers for the Netflix series “Baby Reindeer.” Okay that’s it. Let’s start our Sunday.

I don't post much cultural commentary here even though it would help this entire operation, especially on Sundays when it'd be nice to recommend something new to you every once in a while besides the rotating list of 20 or so books I shuffle through. It’s not as lazy as it sounds—I keep trying to find new things, but I’m convinced that if the only two books left on earth were The Four Agreements and The Pocket Pema Chödrön humanity would be better off, possibly thriving more than any time in history. But I digress. Let’s talk about “Baby Reindeer.”

The series is based on comedian Richard Gadd's stage show called "Baby Reindeer" and an early one-man show he did called Monkey See, Monkey Do, both of which were drawn directly from his own life experiences. Very short summary of the Netflix series: Gadd plays a struggling prop comedian named Donny Dunn, who is kind to a sad-looking woman named Martha, who is seated at the bar he is tending, and she goes on to terrorize him for several years. I almost turned it off after the first three episodes because I found it mean-spirited and not very funny. I pictured Gadd's agents pitching each streaming service the idea: "It's like Misery for millennials, but instead of a writer, he's a Scottish comedian, unlikeable and unsuccessful but somehow he STILL gets a stalker." 

That was the part that irked me–he appeared to be leading her on and unwilling to completely cut her out of his life. At that point, does it even qualify as stalking if it's simply someone who you don't like very much giving you too much attention? I wasn't game to watch four more episodes to see how she carries out her revenge. 

But Episode Four begins, and it shows a dire warning about its depictions of sexual abuse that appears to hover on the screen a little longer than those warnings usually do. I don't know why we didn't turn it off—but Julieanne's friend, who she claimed had great taste in television programs, said it was worth sticking it out. But I must admit that when we watch a show one of her industry friends recommends and it turns out to be terrible, I take great delight in giving her shit about it for all eternity. So that absolutely kept me invested longer. (This is not a quality I’m proud of by the way.)