New Ghosts in the Machines

Reconsiderations about the past. Stephen Mitchell. Mary Oliver. New old-tunes.

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These Sunday posts are mostly paywalled. But I don't want to exclude anyone, so if the cost is prohibitive or you wish to send TSB to someone you love, contact me. I'll happily pass along a free annual subscription to those who need it most.

See you down there. — AJD

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A few days before the new year, I received a message from Google informing me that "my Google Account albertjdaulerio@gmail.com is being deleted because it hasn't been used within 2 years."

I never had this account, but my current email address was listed as the backup, which can only mean that it was my father's account — my father, who passed away two years ago, almost to the day.

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Here's a funny story: Before his dementia took over, my father mostly used a Yahoo! address when he still actively emailed. We have many shared correspondences on Yahoo! that I’ve kept for no reason other than feeling guilty about erasing them. Some of them are cheery thank you's for my Father's Day visits, one where he reluctantly sends me his credit card for me to purchase a flight I could not afford, short ones inquiring about what time my NJT train arrived in Hamilton, and one desperate apology after one of our blow-ups.

He would also forward me his vitriolic rants to the local Philadelphia sports radio stations, which very much looked like Trump ones you’d find on Truth Social. Take this one from October 2008, after the World Series rainout game at Citizens Bank Park:

Could not get through this morning.I attended game 3 .Yeah!I was there last night.Selig should have checked with the fans in the 400 section.We were closer to the sky and could have advised him how hard it was raining.SHOULD HAVE BEEN STOPPED IN THE FOURTH INNING.

Around 2015, his Yahoo! had become a constant headache for anyone in his address book due to his inability to leave virus spam unopened. Unfortunately, switching to Gmail was also an adventure. My father handed over all technology-related jobs to Best Buy's "Geek Squad," no matter how mundane the task. The day he changed over to Gmail was no different. The Geek Squad set up his account, and then he gave them my Gmail account to use as his backup because — well, I don't know the answer to that.