The Strangeness of Being Strange

How do you remind yourself to be human? New TSB pod w/ Mary HK Choi. George Bilgere slinging poetry. More dreamy tunes to help with the heartache.

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When was your earliest, most vivid memory of realizing you were strange? I often try to access that moment as some key data point as to why I turned out the way I did and suffered from the things I suffered from, and I still spend many hours of each day convinced that I'm genuinely uniquely abnormal. I don't need to be placed in some secret lab in the woods where they examine superhero villains, but that sure would be nice. All I know is that I'm often difficult to associate with. I spent 20 or so very dreary minutes last week counting off the list of friends who have disappeared from my life, and rarely is it anyone else's fault but mine.

I know I can be off-putting, but the truth is I don't know when I'm being off-putting. Or rather, I don't know what to do to be less off-putting. I'm squirmy and shifty; sometimes, I mumble a lot. I have trouble in some social situations where I'll be awkward and weird, but there are others where I'm easy and affable. It's funny how some people think of me as having alpha qualities while others see me as meek and insecure. Figuring out if this is situational or chemical has always been a drag. For now, I just go with both.