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I use the VirtualEMDR self guided website for about $70/month for unlimited sessions. The interface is excellent and customizable. I have done many sessions over the past several years, usually at night or on a weekend, and it has been life-changing when talk therapy is stalling out. It’s exhausting, and it brings up memories that I didn’t even realize were unsettling, like the light during a certain time of year. But once the memory is there, I can press on it, hard, until most of the venom is drained, and now it’s a simpler memory. I know that September is and will always have stressful memories, but they no longer feel like active threats. Staying in the session to exhaustion, with a fast figure 8 pattern, works best for me. I pick a simple statement to repeat over and over silently to describe what I am trying to desensitize. “The fall light feels unsafe.” I will pick an even simpler one to install a positive thought pattern. “I am safe right now.” The statements may evolve as I am repeating them. Then I fall asleep afterward, and sometime over the next day or two I realize I feel noticeably calmer. Sometimes I do multiple sessions on one “memory.”

EMDR is never something I look forward to, but I know it usually works pretty quickly. I go back to it for a few sessions when my anxieties ramp up every year or so, which is a pretty strong attachment for distractible, avoidant me.

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Thank you for this, both for your experience and for the head's up on the website.

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Thank you for this entire share but especially for giving a specific example that just happened to resonate with me- “The fall light feels unsafe”. Something happens to me seasonally and I’ve been minimizing it for many years -“it’s just that it’s getting darker and a biochemical thing is happening” - but I know that there’s more waiting to be acknowledged and it brings a wave of dread with it each year. Appreciate hearing about your approach.

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Great topic. Look forward to reading the text and the comments.

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